Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Breakup

Have you ever felt like you were on top of the world at one time, then it all came crashing down on you, and you cant seem to get back up on your feet?

Im there. Ever since October of last year things haven't really gone the way I want them too. Dont get me wrong I've had days that were the best ever, but I'm still not as close to the top of that mountain as I want to be.

On October 5, 2008 I had to break things off with the first guy I ever fell in love with, and trust me it was real love. Your probably wondering, If it was so real why did you break it off? Well the story goes..

I walk into a room with a lights on low, and the music was a sweet romantic song. I look to my left to find him with his hair slicked back with gel, wearing a black shirt and khaki's. He walked towards me and grabbed my arm to pull me closer. As I sit on the couch I notice on the table candles lit with two plates filled with food he cooked on his own, and in the middle of the table a Budweiser bucket filled with ice, with our favorite drinks inside it. Then to my suprise there was a bear beside me with a note that said I love you on the front. I opened it, wondering what it had waiting for me to read. It wrote..

"Baby I love you with all my heart, I never meant to hurt you..ever. The first day I met you, I knew you would change my life forever. I know Im not perfect but I want this to work out for us. I have cried for the past three days just thinking about what hurt I had done to you. I even talked to Rosco (his dog) because the thought of losing you hurts so bad. I know you probably dont ever want to talk to me again but I really do want you to listen to what I have to say. Please give me another chance."

I slowly moved the letter past my eyes to find him looking at me, with tears in his eyes, apologies and questions following after. He asked if I could ever give him another chance, and I did.

This was a night he apologized to me after he had cheated on me while he was drunk one night in July. He hid it from me for a few days, and I had found a message on his myspace from the girl he cheated on me with and found out myself.

I don't know what was really going on in my head when I forgave him, and gave him another chance. I guess I had fallen so fast, that I thought that he would change for the better.

Things were good for three weeks, until he started lying to me, drnking alot more than usual, and hiding that he was smoking weed behind my back. Then I heard a few rumors about him talking to other girls, and I mean too nice of conversations with them. I was extremely frustrated, and this call put me at the end of my straw. I got a call from one of his best friends telling me that Evan called him laughing and saying he just got a blowjob from two trailer trash chicks. I couldnt believe it, and when I called him he wouldnt answer, and even when I called my friend Paul that he was with, he wouldnt even come to the phone. So I left him a nice little voicemail for him to enjoy.

I dated him for a little over 5 months, and I know that doesnt seem very long, but falling in love doesn't choose its timeline thats for sure. I was tore up over the breakup, but I knew I could do alot better than that.

Girls, please do not ever let a guy cheat on you and take him back. I go by from now on, "once a cheater, always a cheater." Because honestly going by my story and other stories of my friends, they never change.

Now the breakup wasn't the only thing that got me down for this long. Little did I know only a month later I would lose one of my closest relatives..


  1. I've had almost this exact same experience happen to me! This has made me so over boys. You hang in there, love- you deserve sooooo much better!

  2. Me too girl! I'm sorry you had to go through this also, it is definately heart breaking! But you are so right! We deserve much better!